Transcripts/Father Knows Beast
:Twilight Sparkle: Woo-hoo-hoo! :Spike: Whoa! Ta-da! :Twilight Sparkle: Okay, Spike. Now let's try a flip. Remember – two flaps, then straight up! :Spike: Got it! :flapping :Spike: grunts :splash :Spike: inhales :flapping :bump :thud :crash :fwip :thud :Twilight Sparkle: You're doing great, Spike. Now let's see the big finish! :Spike: sighs :sloop! :Spike: Whoa-oa-oa-oa! :crash :Spike: grunts I don't know about "big", but I am definitely finished. :Twilight Sparkle: Maybe I should get Rainbow Dash. She's the one who taught me advanced flying techniques. :Spike: No, thanks. If I'm gonna mess up, I'd rather do it in front of you. I just don't understand why none of your advice is helping. :Smolder: Because she's teaching you to fly like a pony instead of a dragon. :Spike: What's the difference? :Smolder: Well, we don't have feathers, for starters. :Spike: Ye-he-he-hes! :hoof-bump :Spike: Wow! Thank you so much! How did you know I just needed to bend my wings? :Smolder: Honestly, this is Dragon 101. Usually dragon parents teach this stuff. :knock :opens :Twilight Sparkle: Spike, I've been thinking about our flying lesson. :Spike: Uh-huh... :Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe I overlooked something as simple as feathers. It's no wonder you were having trouble. I wish I had more "dragonish" knowledge to give you. Do you think being raised by ponies has affected you in other ways? Spike? :Spike: Did you say something, Twilight? Sorry. I'm just finishing up this "thank-you" throw pillow for Smolder. And you know how I get when I'm in the embroidery zone. :Twilight Sparkle: chuckles : :Spike: It's a pillow! But not for your head. Although it could be. It's a throw pillow. They're more casual. You can use 'em anywhere. You don't like it. :Smolder: Uh, it's not that. It's just dragons don't really use pillows. At all. :Spike: What? :Smolder: Hey, what's that? :Spike: I don't know. But it's... heading right for us! :crash! :Spike: Okay. Now I really owe you for the lesson. :Sludge: chuckles Hey there, young dragons. coughs Name's Sludge. How are yours tails shakin'? groans :Spike: You all right? :Smolder: Yeah. What happened? :Sludge: To what? :thud :Sludge: Oh. I don't need to explain myself to a couple of baby dragons. and whimpering :thud :Sludge: Ow... :Spike: Maybe not. But you're hurt and need help. So I'm taking you to Twilight's castle whether you like it or not? :Sludge: Castle, eh? groans :Twilight Sparkle: I'm glad Spike brought you here, Sludge. I understand you made quite the impression in town. :Pinkie Pie: Literally! There's a hole and everything! :Sludge: Well, I hope you're not expecting me to fix it. groans :Applejack: It doesn't look like you're in much shape to do anything. :Sludge: I'll manage. Dragons take care of themselves. I don't need help from a bunch of castle-livin' ponies. whimpers :Rarity: Darling, do be careful. :Sludge: I'm... groans ...fine. :thud :Fluttershy: I can't watch! :Rainbow Dash: You're not the first stubborn dragon we've met, you know? :Spike: And sometimes, even dragons need help. :Twilight Sparkle: I promise. My friends and I will only do enough to get you back on your claws. :music :machine whirring :press whirring :Sludge: sighs :crash! :creak :Sludge: sniffs :clang! :thud :Sludge: noisily :Mane Six and Spike: cheer :Sludge: chomp :Twilight Sparkle: I know you had your reservations, but it's good to see you feeling better. :Sludge: T-Thanks, I guess. :Rarity: That's what friends are for, darling. :Sludge: You're pretty lucky to have friends like these, kid. :Spike: Actually, I was orphaned as an egg, and Twilight raised me. So these ponies are more than my friends. They're my family. :Twilight Sparkle: We try our best, but sometimes I worry that maybe Spike is... :Spike: Missing something deep down and dragonish. :Sludge: Really? Wow. I-I can't tell you how glad I am to hear that. :Applejack: Why in Equestria would you be glad to hear that? :Sludge: I wasn't gonna say anything since your life seemed so perfect, but I have a confession to make. Coming to Ponyville wasn't an accident. I was looking for you. Spike... sighs I'm your father. :Mane Six: gasp :Pinkie Pie: gasping Sorry. :Twilight Sparkle: So you crashed in Ponyville on purpose? :Sludge: Well, the crash part wasn't on purpose, but heading here was. I've been searching everywhere for you, kid. :Spike: Did you ask in the Crystal Empire? I'm kind of well-known there. :Pinkie Pie: Actually, Spike's well-known everywhere. Not a lot of dragons were hatched by the Princess of Friendship. :Applejack: Mm-hmm. :Sludge: up You make it sound so simple. I wish you'd been there to help me search. :open :Spike: I can't believe it. I have so many questions. :Sludge: Well, ask away. Answering questions is what dads are for. :Spike: I guess my biggest question is simple. Why was I an orphaned egg? :Sludge: stammers You sure you don't want to ask something else? up It's a lot of painful memories. sighs Your mother was the best dragon I'd ever met. :Sludge: voiceover The Dragon Lord even picked her to scout for the Great Migration, and-and even though she just laid your egg, we knew she'd have to go. But finding the Migration route could take a lifetime, and you deserved a chance to know your mother. So I went looking for you, carrying your egg to places no dragon or pony has ever been. Past Mount Aris, the abandoned home of the Hippogriffs... :Pinkie Pie: Ooh! Did you visit Klugetown? :Sludge: You've been to Klugetown? :Mane Six: affirming :Twilight Sparkle: Also, the Hippogriffs returned to Mount Aris after we helped them defeat the Storm King. :Sludge: Oh, well, have you heard of the Land of the... Scale Collectors? :Twilight Sparkle: Uh-uh. :Sludge: Spike Because that's where your mother's trail finally led. :Sludge: voiceover To a prison world of dragon hunters, where I was forced to choose between surrendering myself or surrendering your egg. :clang! :Sludge: choked up Of course, there was no way I was gonna sacrifice my boy. So they took me instead, and that's where I'd been ever since. :Sludge: Locked up somewhere not even the Princess of Friendship has heard of. :Spike: Whoa... How did you know I was a boy? :Fluttershy: Whatever happened to Spike's mom? :Rainbow Dash: And how did the egg make it all the way back to Equestria by itself? :Pinkie Pie: Hmm? :Sludge: I wish I had all the answers. crying :Spike: Well, that's all in the past. The only thing that matters now is that we're together. And I'm gonna make up for lost time. :Spike: I hope you don't mind, but I have a list of all the things I always wanted to do with my dad? :Sludge: Mind? Spike, my boy, with you by my side, I feel like we could do anything. What do you want to do first? :Spike: Well, I've kind of been working on a list for a long time. :unrolls :Sludge: Dude, you want to do all of this? :Spike: Oh. I mean, w-we don't have to. :Sludge: If you think doing everything on this incredibly long list is gonna fill the hole where your dragonishness should be, then that is exactly what we're gonna do! :Spike: gasps :music :Granny Smith: whistle :Sludge: belches fire :Pinkie Pie: Woo-hoo! :Spike: Oh, yeah! :whistling :tearing :tearing :timer rings :Sludge: noisily :Sludge: gulps :Spike: I can't believe we got so many things done. But this is all my stuff. Is there anything you always wanted to do with me? :Sludge: Not really. :beat :Sludge: Uhhh, I mean, uh, I'm happy to do whatever you want. But if I had a castle like this with all this stuff, I'd probably just lay around all day doing nothing like a real dragon. :Spike: Like a real dragon? :Sludge: Sure! I'm not surprised you don't know any better. Twilight basically raised you as a pony. You're barely a dragon at all. :Spike: Huh? :open :Twilight Sparkle: Hey, Spike! How are things going with Sludge? :Spike: Honestly, I thought having him around would make me feel more dragonish. But I kind of feel less. :Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I'm sorry. I wish I could help. :Sludge: Awww, shucks. noisily I guess I shouldn't have said anything about you being more pony than dragon. I just wish we had more in common. :Twilight Sparkle: Maybe you two can come up with ways to turn up Spike's, uh, dragonishness. :Spike: You think that's something we can do? :Sludge: You know what, son? I think it is! :on door :opens :Twilight Sparkle: Spike? I just thought I'd check to see if you and Sludge had any luck turning up your dragonishness. It's hard not to feel like somehow I let you down all these years. :Sludge: grunting :Twilight Sparkle: Oh! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to barge in on ya! :Sludge: sighs Ah, don't worry about it. Mi castle es su castle. :Twilight Sparkle: Right. Well, I'll just get out of your way. :closes :squeak! :splattering :Twilight Sparkle: Oh! Spike! I'm so sorry. My morning is not going well. What is all this? Why'd you leave the castle so early? :Spike: I didn't leave. I spent the night outdoors to get in touch with my dragon side. :Twilight Sparkle: Outdoors? :Spike: Yeah! And Sludge asked me to bring him the best breakfast Ponyville has to offer so he can show me how a real dragon would eat it. See you later! :closes :open :Twilight Sparkle: ...And that's why I thought we could use the map to— :Spike: Hey, gang! Dad was just showing me how a real dragon would act in a throne room. :Sludge: Dragons like to sprawl when they get their claws done. blows Now, if you'll all excuse me, it's time for my bath. :Spike: sighs Isn't he the best? :Rarity: I'm not sure that's exactly the word I would use. :Sludge: Uh, Spike? The bath isn't gonna fill itself, son. :Spike: Be right there... Dad. :Twilight Sparkle: I'm glad you're not spending the night outside again. :Spike: Oh, I am. I'm just looking for a good bedtime story to read to my dad first. :Twilight Sparkle: It's nice that you have somepony to show you dragon culture. But are you sure that's what Sludge is doing? :Spike: What do you mean? :Twilight Sparkle: Well, taking over your room, making a mess of things... :Spike: scoffs That is dragon culture. :Twilight Sparkle: You never acted like that. :Spike: That's because you raised me. Now I finally have a chance to see how I'm supposed to be. :Twilight Sparkle: I don't think you're supposed to be any different than who you are. :Spike: Maybe you just don't like that I have a real parent now. :cracking :Twilight Sparkle: That's not true! I'm glad Sludge is here. I-I just wish he wasn't such a— :Spike: Dragon? Of all ponies, I can't believe you would have a problem with that. :Twilight Sparkle: sighs :splashing :rustling :Smolder: What happened to you? :Spike: Just sleeping outside like we're meant to. It's not like dragons are supposed to live in castles. :Smolder: I... guess not. But I live in the school. Nothing says we have to live outside. :Spike: sighs I'm so confused. It's been great having Sludge show me how to be a real dragon, but Twilight just doesn't get it. :Smolder: What do you mean? :Spike: She can't handle how good at being a dragon Sludge is. Maybe someday, I'll be able to lay around doing nothing as well as he does. :Smolder: What? :Spike: Well, not now, of course. I'm too busy bringing him pony stuff so he can show me what a dragon would do with it. :Smolder: So, Sludge just lays around while you wait on him claw and tail? Uh, dragons are rude and rebellious, but they aren't lazy lumps who take advantage of their kids. :Spike: Huh. Now I'm really confused. :Smolder: Me, too. Why don't you tell me everything Sludge said about being a dragon? :opens :Sludge: noisily Hey! What's going on, son? :Spike: Twilight doesn't like having real dragons in the castle, so I told her we're moving out. :Sludge: coughs You what?! :Smolder: Spike! I found the perfect cave where you two can live! There aren't even any comfortable rocks inside! :Spike: That does sound perfect! :Sludge: No, it doesn't! I-I-I mean, uh, I'm not sure I fully demonstrated all the ways a dragon would live here. :Spike: But we're not gonna live here anymore, so it doesn't matter. :Sludge: It matters to me! stammers I want to make sure you have all the knowledge you need. :Spike: But I do. Dad, you've already shared so much. ::singing This bed is much too soft ::Just take that silk robe off ::We can't be dragons living here :Sludge and Spike: straining :Sludge: Stop! I'm not your father! :Spike: What? :Sludge: I just said that to get in on this sweet castle life. :Spike: So... you... pretended to be my dad? :Sludge: Now-now-now-now-now, don't look at me like that, kid. I did what any dragon would do. :Smolder: No. You didn't. :Sludge: Hey. I saw an opportunity, and I took it. That's what dragons do. :Smolder: No. It isn't. :Sludge: You know what? I don't need this. I'm out of here! Enjoy lovin' pony town! :Spike: sighs :Sludge: I'm taking this pillow. :Spike: I can't believe I thought somepony like that could show me how to be anything. :Smolder: Uh... it must be hard growing up not really knowing who you are. :Spike: That's the thing. I know exactly who I am. And how I got that way. :opens :Spike: Um, Twilight? :Twilight Sparkle: Oh. Hi. Where's your father? :Spike: He's gone. Turns out he wasn't what a real dragon should be after all. He also wasn't my real dad. :Twilight Sparkle: Oh, Spike. I'm so sorry. :Spike: I'm the one who's sorry. You were just worried about me, and I lost my temper. Sludge was just a great big phony. :Twilight Sparkle: I have to say, I'm not surprised. There's no way a dragon like that was related to you. But if you still want to search for your real family, I'd understand if you spent more time in the Dragon Lands. :Spike: I don't think so. I already know who my real family is. :Twilight Sparkle: Aww! It's me, right? :Spike: Mm-hmm! Besides, there's no way I'm living without pillows. :credits